


No Other Love

by demonbarber14



Category: Caligula (1979)
Genre: F/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 06:46:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2300279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonbarber14/pseuds/demonbarber14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A group of one-shots based on the 1979 film Caligula, with most of the emphasis on the Emperor's relationship with his sister. Rated E for obvious reasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Other Love

Julia Drusilla peeked into her mother’s room with more than a little interest. Agrippina had not had time to play with her three-year old for the last few days, and the child had grown more and more perturbed. It would have been one thing if her usual nursemaids had been as attentive as usual, but even they were too distracted to coo over the girl enough to suit her liking. Drusilla had not been ignored from the day she was born, so the change in events frightened her even more than the screams that had emitted from the other side of the villa. The moment she was left alone in her room, she hurried to her mother’s chamber as fast as her tiny, plump legs could carry her. The screaming had subsided by that time, and most of the commotion had died down. When Drusilla actually reached the imposing door, she became apprehensive. She wondered if her mother had died or if something equally tragic had occurred. If it had, it was probably due to that _Tiberius_ that was always whispered about. She reasoned that if anything had caused her mother pain, it was probably that man? creature? thing? The door had been left ajar, due to all the activity, so the child gathered all her courage and tentatively looked inside. She saw her mother lying in bed holding something in a blanket. Agrippina looked alright, as did her husband and their numerous attendants. Drusilla pushed the door open even wider until she was noticed by her father. Agrippina was alerted to her presence, and summoned her to the bedside. Drusilla obeyed, and her father picked her up and sat her down next to her mother.

“Drusilla, darling” began Agrippina, weak but proud, “this is your new brother”.

She shifted the small bundle, so Drusilla could see the sleeping baby’s face. _A brother_. She knew what that meant. It meant having to share things, not having everyone pay her their complete attention, not being the only one on her mother’s lap during the few precious hours a week they got to spend together. She glared at the little creature, who began to stir sleepily.

“You must take good care of him treat him gently.”

“Like a cat?”

Her mother paused momentarily, until she remembered how well Drusilla behaved with the family pets.

“Yes, darling, treat him exactly as you would a cat.”

This revelation cheered Drusilla up immensely, as anything that could be compared to cat was automatically something to like, at the very least. Her mother’s next statement, however, confused the child to no end.

“He’s going to be emperor one day”

Drusilla all but recoiled at the word. Wasn’t The Tiberius an Emperor as well? Would the little kitten grow up into something like him (it?)? _Maybe there are different kinds of Emperors_ she reasoned _like how some cats like me to hold them and some cats bite me_ _sometimes_.

This thought relieved her, and uneasy feelings vanished the instant the baby woke up.

It didn’t cry, but looked at its sister with as much interest as she had. In the moment their eyes met, Drusilla knew that she loved the child. Even if it did share her things and her attention, even if it did turn into a Tiberius, it was still hers to love and protect. She leaned forward and clumsily kissed its forehead.

“What’s his name?”

“Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus” their father proclaimed, with a smile equaling his wife’s.

Drusilla shrieked with mirth, as the newborn miraculously stayed quiet. “That’s silly!”

“We shall call him Gaius” her mother explained patiently. “Now go back to bed and you can see him in the morning”

“I love you, Gaius” Drusilla announced with more solemnity than anyone would have thought possible coming from the rambunctious child.

“I love you” she repeated over and over to herself as she was led into her room.

“I love you”

 

**Twelve years later**

“Drusilla, I’m a little frightened”.

“Alright, Gaius, come over here, then” Drusilla said automatically through her sleepy haze. Normally she hated losing an instant of sleep, but she knew that her brother’s needs were more important than her own.

He dove into her bed and wrapped his arms around her as best he could.

“Is it something you want to talk about?” she asked gently.

“No” he replied quickly before resting his head on her breasts.

She put her arms around him and held him as hard as she could while stroking his hair and pressing his head against her even more. All she wanted to do was keep him safe, not only from Tiberius, but from everything that wasn’t benevolent or beautiful. She felt Gaius start to cry and began kissing the top of his head with a possessive ferocity and whispering the comforting words she had repeated on many nights since their parents had died.

“Hush, Gaius, darling. Nothing bad can happen to you. Drusilla’s here. I’m going to protect you. Hush, love, it’s all right. It’s all right, there’s no need to cry.”

His terrors must have been worse than usual that night, because his sobs just grew louder and he started babbling.

“He killed our parents, Drusilla, he’s going to kill us”

“No, he’s not, darling; he needs you as his heir since you’re the only one left”

This was clearly the wrong thing to say, as he started crying even louder.

“Can’t we run away? We could just _leave_ and live together and find work and--”

“We can’t run away, Gaius, the guards would just find us and get us into trouble”

“Why do we always have to be guarded? What do they honestly think we’re going to do? Why can’t they leave us alone? I don’t want to be emperor! I don’t want to do anything except not die”

Drusilla began shushing him frantically, terrified that a guard would be awake and listening at the door. It had become a habit of theirs never to talk about or do anything private when there was even the remotest chance of someone’s listening, but clearly Gaius was beyond caring. Gaius’s sobs subsided slightly, as Drusilla held her breath, waiting for any sound that would alert her to any unwelcome company. After a few minutes without a sign of any alien presence, she relaxed slightly and continued to focus on her brother. His behavior that night was especially strange since they’d had a particularly happy day earlier on. They had raced each other around the villa many times, climbed the most manageable of the surrounding trees, and finally fell in an exhausted heap where they remained for a long time until they began play-wrestling.

The one positive aspect of living with their great-grandmother Livia was the fact that she was far too old to attempt to impose any control on the adolescents, leaving them free to do nothing but enjoy each other’s company for days on end. Being an emperor’s mother made the woman unbearably haughty, and she thought herself far too important to take care of children herself, and the two were constantly able to evade lessons and the social events Livia constantly threw.

Drusilla finally gave up trying to talk to her brother, and continued kissing him instead. Once the top of his head had been thoroughly taken care of, she moved farther down the bed and, tilting his head up, kissed his lips. He kissed her back with the terror-filled ferocity that she had grown used to in the last few years. Once Drusilla started enjoying herself, her brother pulled back with a slight whimper and moved as far away from her as he could, while still remaining near enough to feel her warmth.

“Gaius, stop doing that” Drusilla half-scolded; frustrated that he had interrupted their kissing once again that day. “It’s perfectly normal. I don’t mind it when you…” her voice trailed off, not quite sure how to describe her brother’s embarrassing and increasingly frequent erections, especially since she wasn’t quite sure what they were herself. “I enjoy it.”

“Really?” He asked, suspicious and eager at the same time.

“Yes; now come here, silly Caligula”  

He obeyed gratefully, and they resumed their kissing, as she felt his member grow even harder against her thigh. She began wriggling in her nightdress until it was sufficiently low enough to leave her breasts completely exposed.  Gaius took the gesture as a cue, and began kissing her softly swelled chest as she continued to play with his hair. She gave a little shiver of delight at the combined sensations she was experiencing. Their movements both became more frantic, as they were desperate to be even closer to each other. Their mutual eagerness made up for their lack of experience, and after a few misguided attempts, they were able to fully seal the bond between them.  

“I love you, Drusilla” he whispered the moment before their bodies merged together.

“I love you too, Gaius” was the equally soft reply that she made when they were finished.

She held him in her arms long after they were done and he fall asleep from sheer exhaustion.

 _Isis_ she thought, staring at the ceiling as though she could see the stars beyond it _Gods, if you should exist_ , she added for safety _make my brother live. Don’t let anyone harm him; let them take me instead. I swear to always protect him and to die for him if I have to. Just please let him live. Let my brother live_.

 

**Two years later**

            Drusilla was busy braiding her hair when she heard footsteps behind her. _Is he still here?_

“Not now, Cassius, I’m doing my hair” she looked over her shoulder; a look of impatience plastered over her features and gave a small start, her face changing instantaneously.

“ _Gaius_!” she shrieked, racing up to him and flinging herself into the embrace she had grown up in.

“I met Cassius on my way in. He’s going to town; won’t be back for a long while”

“How did you get here?”

“Paid off my new tutor” Caligula managed to gasp out in between harsh kisses to his sister’s lips. “He’ll tell Antonia I was with him all day. Pinched a slave’s clothes to get past the guards. Should probably pay him for it”.

“Where’d you get the money?”

“Antonia doesn’t exactly keep it hidden”

“How often can you do it?”

“Until I get caught”

“I can give you the money if you want. I’ve got plenty of it to spend now.”

He made a halfhearted attempt at a refusal, but once she assured him that he would only be depleting the purse of his despised brother in law, he agreed. As they talked, they made their way to the bed, where she sat opposite him and stared into the eyes she had sorely missed.

            They had become spoiled by Livia’s near-deafness, so when she died, and they had to live with their grandmother Antonia, they had kept up their nighttime activities just as often and as loudly as before.  When Antonia discovered them in the middle of an astonishing feat of acrobatics one night, they had been ordered never to see each other again. Neither adolescent took the warning seriously, but soon, they were physically prevented from visiting each other by the guards Tiberius had ordered to watch them, and were only allowed to see (but not talk to) each other at mealtimes. Their few meeting attempts all ended with violent beatings from their alleged protectors, so they soon gave up and contented themselves with imagined conversations and self-inflicted ecstasies. It seemed too sweet to believe that they could finally be together as often as they wished.

“How is it with Cassius?”

“Oh, you are vile”, Drusilla teased, running her hands through her brother’s silky blond hair, before being wrestled onto the bed.

“He’s so terribly fat. How do you even do it?”

“Well, he was able to do it.” She tapped his nose. “I shan’t tell you any more.”

“What happened when he realized you weren’t a virgin?”     

She pushed him off her and repositioned herself on the bed so that she was clutching the sheets to her collarbone.

“Oh, Cassius, I’m so _ashamed_ ” she murmured, widening her eyes and thrusting her chest out in an obvious self-parody. “I just have no _idea_ how that could have happened” she continued, letting the sheets slip down in her “sorrow”, and subtly rolling her shoulders enough to let her loose gown fall tantalizingly low over her large, round breasts. “If only there were some _way_ I could make it _up_ to you” she cooed, her eyes widening, and her lips trembling “but I _know_ I just won’t ever be able to”. She put her hand to her mouth and touched her lower lip in her mock-anxiety, as she continued breathing into her chest, until her breasts seemed moments away from freeing themselves, their pink tips just beginning to peek out from her gown. “I do so want to make you happy.” She widened her eyes and drew in her upper arms, making her breasts look even more delectably large.

“What was his response, then?”

She let her body relax and her face lost all traces of conniving innocence. “Same as yours” she laughed, eyeing his ill-concealed erection.

He gave her an insolent smirk. “Shall we make up for all the time we’ve missed?”

“Well, I don’t know. I’ve been so spoiled by Cassius that I’m not sure if you could-”

Her playful taunts were quickly silenced when he crushed his lips against hers and forced her onto her back. He pulled the sheets off her and quickly removed her clothes. He took a few seconds to simply stare at her hungrily, while she continued to giggle. Her blonde hair and blue eyes matched his almost perfectly. It had always seemed so natural that they should be together. Who else deserved to even _look_ at something so beautiful? _No one_ he decided, before gently playing with her hair and removing his own clothes.

“I love you, Gaius” she murmured, placing her hands on his shoulders. “Don’t ever abandon me for such a long time again.”

“Believe me, I won’t.”

He got on top of her and kissed her on the lips. She groaned and arched her back so that he could feel her naked breasts pressing against his chest. He moved his hand down and began using the pad of his thumb to play with her already hard nipple. He gave her lips one last kiss before his mouth trailed down to her neck. He gently bit at her shoulder and neck, wanting to re-claim every inch of his sister after she had given herself up to that disgusting old man.

“Gaius, stop! Please, don’t!”

He kissed her, almost ashamed that he had forgotten how ticklish she was. He hated to think that any little quirk of hers had gone unremembered. He redoubled his “attack” on her, until she was breathless from shrieks of laughter and the area from her chin to her shoulder glistened with his saliva.

“Well, I hope you’re not going to stop _there_ ” she panted.

“Oh, I’m not.” He grinned, staring ravenously at her breasts.

Before she had time to catch her breath, he grabbed her breasts and squeezed them harshly. Her body gave a little shudder of delight and he immediately took her right nipple into his mouth, continuing to manipulate the left with his thumb. He began licking the hardened peak with his saliva-coated tongue before greedily sucking on the pale flesh. He’d forgotten how good she tasted. He switched over to her other breast, and gave it an equal amount of attention, even biting down on her nipple, which made her buck her hips and shriek even louder. His hand made its way down her belly, stroking and patting the sensitive area below her navel before lightly cupping the area between her thighs. She pushed her hips further into his hand and with a quick dip of his finger, he ascertained that she was more than wet enough to accept him. He nudged himself into her. She was even softer and warmer than he remembered. He began thrusting his hips, slowly at first, but he soon gained speed when he saw how much she was enjoying herself.

Drusilla groaned and tugged her brother’s hair. Her entire being seemed to have become nothing more than the intense wave of pleasure she felt as he continued pushing into her. She felt him come inside her with a final, intense thrust. He rolled off her and lay next to her, wordlessly running his fingers through her hair and biting her nose.

“That was nicer than I remembered.” She mumbled exhaustedly, before nuzzling her head against his chest.

“So, I’m better than Cassius, am I?”

She nodded, too sleepy to respond properly.

He kissed her forehead and let her sleep, marveling at the fact that he was part of her.  

 

**Five years later**

“Caligula, you’re so slow!” Drusilla called out as she continued to dash ahead of her brother, lightly jumping over the more hazardous rocks and fallen branches in her way. She stopped when she reached a tree and waited for Caligula to catch up to her. He reached her a few seconds later and she positioned herself so that her back was straight up against the rough bark. She turned her head and closed her eyes almost shyly, smiling as her brother gently pulled out the leaves that had gotten tangled in her long blonde hair. She reminded him of a sacrificial lamb, her pale and helpless looking body contrasting with the dark brown tree behind her. He cupped her face in his hand and gave her a few quick, teasing kisses. She returned the favor, as he brushed her loose garment off her shoulders and caressed her breasts.

“You’re so lovely” he informed, stating into her eyes with an intensity that would have made her blush, had she not been so used to it.

“Hush, Gaius” she groaned. “You make me feel quite arrogant.” She grabbed a handful of his hair and gave it a light tug upwards. He did the same to her, but let go as slowly as he could, admiring the way her gold tresses settled around her wide face.

He put his arms around her waist and sat down, dragging her along with him. He gave her lips a few more pecks as he pushed her shoulders until she was lying flat on her back. His kisses deepened as his hand trailed lazily along the contours of her body, pushing her clothes off, until it finally rested between her thighs. He let it stay there an excruciatingly long time, and Drusilla expressed her impatience by bucking her hips against it. Caligula rubbed his palm across the tangle of golden hair, making her groan contentedly into his mouth. He stroked and probed the tender flesh between her legs with his index finger, before dipping it inside her. He quickened his motions and added a second finger, pumping them in and out of her body until they were completely coated in her cum.

“Want a little more, darling?”

She nodded, shifting her hips so that she was settled more comfortably on the hard ground. She closed her eyes and felt him lightly swat at her inner thighs.

“Spread” he commanded, and she complied eagerly. He settled between her legs and began kissing her, starting from the spot just above her kneecap. Drusilla felt herself growing wet with anticipation as he made his way up her thigh. He paused at the top of her leg, filling his mouth with saliva and making his tongue as wet as possible. No matter how many times they had engaged in the act together, she was always unprepared for the sharp stab of bliss that made its way through her body when his mouth came into contact with her nether lips. He kissed her flower a few times before slipping his tongue inside her. She groaned and whimpered, clenching and unclenching her fists and sandal-clad toes, trying to keep her lower body as still as possible to make it easier for him. He explored her warm, moist opening and lapped up the results of her orgasm. He looked up and noticed that she had relaxed slightly. Caligula made his movements as slow and languid as possible, barely skimming the sensitive flesh, until she started getting used to the sensation. With no warning, the thrust his tongue as deep as he could inside her, with the most rapid motions he was capable of. She shrieked and came close to kneeing the side of his face. Undeterred, he held her legs down and continued his amorous assault. He sucked hungrily at her womanhood letting his teeth graze the spot where she was most sensitive. Drusilla felt herself drowning in painfully acute pleasure, coming multiple times under the careful ministrations of his lips and tongue. He finished with another slow lick across her flesh and lay down next to her.

“Gaius, you’re quite” she struggled to catch her breath “quite wonderful”

“Want to see how good you taste?”

She eyed him suspiciously. “Wha-”

Her question was silenced when he kissed her ferociously and forced his tongue into her mouth. She tried to pull away from him, but he held her firmly in place until most of the cum on his tongue was transferred to her mouth. She automatically turned her head and spat violently on the ground.

“Caligula, I swear, you are the most vile, immature, disgusting, filthy little brat who has ever lived” she laughed, before she wiped her tongue on the back of her hand.

Unable to remain upset with her brother, she rested her head against his chest and bit at him lazily. He wrapped his arms around her and massaged her scalp. His body felt so warm against hers, and though he was larger than she, he seemed almost delicate. She inhaled deeply, smiling as his familiar scent reached her nostrils. She kissed and nuzzled him happily until she saw the goosebumps on his arms.

“It’s so cold, Gaius. Let’s go inside.” She sat up and the twigs that had stuck to her back fell away as Caligula brushed them off. He helped pin her stola back in place, fingering the pin that held it with displeasure. It was obviously a gift from Crassus. Only he would be stupid enough to not to realize that the green stones didn’t compliment any of Drusilla’s features.

They made their way back to the villa, Caligula frequently swatting at his sister’s behind to spur her on. They fell onto her bed together and resumed holding each other. He soon fell asleep against her breasts, and she continued to run her hands through his hair. Just as she felt herself drifting off, the sound of men talking just outside the door made them both start.

“I must see him. It is a matter of great importance.”

Caligula recognized the voice of Macro and groaned inwardly. True, they were friends, but anyone who worked for the emperor, anyone who wasn’t Drusilla, could automatically be deemed a potential threat. Drusilla didn’t waste an instant. She rolled off the bed and seemingly launched herself behind the curtain that closed off his small devotional alter to Isis. She barely had time to feel blasphemous before Macro walked in, and she listened to their conversation.

“My lord.”

“What is it, Macro?” Caligula demanded, attempting to disguise his fear with annoyance.

“The Emperor, sir, demands that you join him Capri”

Drusilla hardly contained a gasp, and the sound of her heart pounding made it nearly impossible for her to hear the rest of their conversation.

“Why?”

 _Oh, Caligula, do try to be tactful for once_ she mentally pleaded.

“He did not say, sir, but in all confidentially, I believe he wishes to keep you under his personal care until” he paused “you become Emperor”

“How very kind of him” Caligula replied, acid dripping from every syllable. “Is Cassius to come as well, or is it to be just myself and my sister.”

“Well, my lord, the Emperor specifically stated that your sister was not to come.”

“I see” he replied shortly, still betraying a twinge in his voice. “You’re coming with me, aren’t you, Macro?”

“Indeed, my lord”

“How soon am I to leave?”

“Two days, my lord.”

“Well. I had better get my things in order, hadn’t I?”

“My lord, would you like-”

“No, Macro, I need a little time by myself. I’m sure you can understand”

“Yes, of course, my lord. I shall see you on the ship, then.”

“Yes, now go.”

The instant his footsteps were no longer audible, Caligula raced to his sister’s hiding place and removed the curtain. His face, contorted with agony, anger and fear, frightened her. She stood up and wordlessly embraced him, letting him sob openly on her shoulder.

“Gaius” she whispered “next time I hold you, you will be Emperor.”

 

**Six years later**

“Emperor Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus” Drusilla whispered softly as she stroked her brother’s hair. She could hardly believe that it had finally happened, that her darling brother was finally the emperor. He was still so young; he was still her baby.

“What was it like living with Tiberius?”

The new emperor shut his eyes, attempting to forget the eventful years since he had seen his sister.

_The knife was in his hand, Tiberius was on the bed. It was an impulsive plan, but so perfect. Once he was emperor, no one would punish him for it. He crouched low over his grandfather and lifted his arm. He held it in place, tried to remind himself of his parents and what Tiberius had done to them. He still couldn’t do it. The knife was flung away in disgust, clattering far louder than Caligula had expected. The emperor didn’t stir, however, so he picked up the small dagger and made his way out of the room. He glanced over his shoulder for a second and saw Tiberius’s eyes wide open, staring with blank fear at his grandson._

_The young slave girl screamed in a language he couldn’t understand, though he could gather her meaning. Tears rolled down her face, cutting channels in the thick make-up. She couldn’t have been more than twelve, but she was very pretty. That was Caligula’s excuse to himself as he rammed into her._

_“How do you think this man should be punished, Caligula?”_

_“I don’t know, lord.”_

_“Would you like to kill him yourself, Caligula?”_

_“If it would be” he searched for a word in order so as not to convey his eagerness “convenient to you, my lord.”_

_The old man nodded, and Caligula stood in front of the condemned man. His motion was clean and swift, though the stranger’s death was not. Caligula had been sure to cut into his stomach so that it would take him a good long time to die._

_“Is it done, Macro?”_

_He bowed deeply, a hint of apprehension on his features._

_“It is done. You are now the Emperor, my lord.”_

“It was horrible.”

“You’re safe now, darling” she whispered, her eyes full of concern.

Wishing to terminate any further discussion, Caligula picked up the tiger cub he had brought Drusilla and placed it on her chest. She scratched behind its ears and let it bat at her hand.

“Shall we get married before or after the ceremony?”

Drusilla gave a small start, annoying the striped bundle of fur.

“Gaius, I-”

“If we do it before, we’ll be officially crowned together and everyone will be used to the idea”. He reached out to stroke the re-settled tiger. “But if we do it afterwards, we shall give the public a completely new reason to celebrate, and have two official ceremonies instead of one.”

“Caligula, you know we can’t get married. We’re not Egyptian.”

“I am the Emperor” he said simply and with a dangerous smirk. “I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, to whomever I want.”

“Just don’t start with me” she retorted nervously as he ran his hand up and down his arm. “We’ll discuss it later, Gaius.”

“Should I kill Crassus, or just force him to divorce you?”

“Oh, please let us be divorced, no matter what.”

He shrugged. “I shall think about it”

He sat up next to her and hugged his knees to his chest. He had grown more muscular since she had last seen him, and his face looked leaner and far less adorable than it used to. She wondered what he had gone through while he was in Capri and if he would ever tell her.

She rubbed his shoulders and gently tugged at him until he eventually lay down next to her again and started playing with her hair.

“If we were married, you could have absolutely everything you want.

“Go to bed, Gaius. And you too, my little darling” she crooned, kissing the top of the cub’s head.

She saw another shadow of fear cross her brother’s face when he thought she wasn’t looking.

“I love you, Gaius. And after I’ve introduced you to all the suitable women I know of, if you absolutely despise all of them, I shall reconsider marrying you.”

“Drusilla, I will never love anything as much as I love you.”

 

She knew he was right, and that their being married would be wonderful. She’d have the respect she deserved and there could even be games, feasts, and anything else she wanted in her honor. Regardless of everything else, she and her brother could spend all their time together. Not that either could be expected to remain faithful, of course. Drusilla knew that both of them needed many different types of experiences to remain satisfied. If she were Caligula’s queen, she would make sure that only the wisest men were chosen to remain senators, and they would only do what she and her brother told them to. Dissention would be dealt with harshly, she decided. After all, she and her brother were Gods; normal laws didn’t apply to them. If only the people could understand. Drusilla knew that she and her brother could rule without a senate, but if the people thought they were aberrations against nature, their reign couldn’t last.

“Gaius, there were times I thought I’d die without you”

“Well, of course there were”

 _Insolent little fool_ she thought, before drifting off to sleep.

 

**Eight months later**

Drusilla felt her face grow red as she watched her brother and Caesonia. She knew she shouldn’t have let him near that woman. Now that whore was to be Empress while she, Julia Drusilla, oldest child of Agrippina and Germanicus, beloved one-formerly beloved one-of Emperor Caligula was left with nothing. _It isn’t fair_ she thought to herself over and over, as she watched her brother attempt to grope Caesonia’s breasts, only to have his hand batted away. _I have done everything for him from the day he was born. I never pushed him away like that; I love him. I need him. That_ woman _just married him because he’s the Emperor. She’s had every other man in Rome, but she won’t let me have my brother. She doesn’t deserve him. She doesn’t deserve to touch him, to hold him, to…She doesn’t deserve anything. She doesn’t even deserve to die horribly and become a martyr. She doesn’t even deserve my_ thinking _about her. That stupid, giggling, phony, teasing little--_

“I’m going to take a walk in the garden, Caligula” she announced, unable to watch any more.

“Oh, all right, Drusilla” he mumbled distractedly, still trying to get his hand past the top of Caesonia’s loosely draped garment. Drusilla walked away as quickly as she could without being too obvious, but she was just able to hear Caesonia stage-whisper something to Gaius, making him laugh with far more venom than Drusilla remembered him having. She walked to the massive enclosed area where her tiger was kept, since it had grown large enough to cause damage, not to mention a scratch on Drusilla’s arm that extended from her shoulder to her elbow. She tried to look for her dear little kitten amongst the imported trees, but to no avail.

“Darling” she whispered, embarrassed that the once future Empress of Rome was left with no one but a tiger to talk to “come here, darling, Drusilla’s here”

Nothing happened. She reasoned that it was probably asleep, that it hadn’t heard her, and that if it knew how much she needed it, it would be there. Nevertheless, she banged her fist against the side of the enclosure before falling to the ground sobbing wretchedly.

 

**Two months later**

“My lady, the Emperor is very sick. I think it would be wise for you to visit him.”

“What about Caesonia? I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to take care of him” Drusilla replied, not bothering to stop fixing her hair.

“He asked specifically for you, my lady. He’ll allow no one else but the doctor to see him”

“Really?” she turned, a look of honest surprise on her face. “How bad is it?”

She’d heard rumors of his illness, but never listened too closely. After all, she had stopped caring for him after he married that whore. Avoiding him in the palace halls had become her daily goal, and she had succeeded in meeting it nearly every time.

The messenger turned slightly red. “I cannot say for sure, my lady, but we fear--”

“Do we know for certain that he’ll be all right?”

The desperation in her voice let the young boy know that a roundabout answer wouldn’t do, so he simply shook his head. Drusilla sprang to her feet and dashed out of her room, her feet barely touching the ground as she made her way to Caligula’s chamber.

He lay in bed, frighteningly pale and glassy-eyed. Drusilla climbed into his bed unhesitatingly, barely hearing the doctor’s warning.

“Drusilla’s here, darling. You’re safe now.”

She held his head in her hands and wiped off his sweat with her dress. He tried to say something to her, but she hushed him and told him that he needed to sleep.

“You sent for me, my lord” a mousy man interrupted. He was standing in the doorway, clutching a stack of parchment.

“Yes, come here” Caligula beckoned, only able to raise his hand a few inches. “I would like to change my will so that when I die, the position of Emperor will be passed on to my sister, Julia Drusilla”. The shock in the room was palpable, and Drusilla attempted to hide her triumphant smile by nuzzling the top of her brother’s head.

_He does love me the best! Of course he loves me the best. He’s always loved me the best._

“My lord, are you quite sure that you are of sound mind?”

Drusilla glared at him, making a mental note to do something truly horrible to him if her brother did die and she became Empress. 

All protests were quickly silenced, and the new will was stamped with the royal seal.

 

“Gaius” she murmured against his shoulder “you feel a lot less hot than you did before.”

 _Isis, Gods, if you exist, make my brother live. Don’t let anyone harm him; let them take me instead. I swear to always protect him and to die for him if I have to. Just please let him live. Let my brother live_.

“Gaius” she sobbed with relief after a few more hours “you feel completely normal. You’re alright, darling!”

 

**Ten weeks later**

Caligula woke up and stretched lazily. He looked at his wife, who seemed impassible even as she slept. Drusilla had been right about the little bitch. At least Caesonia had been able to give him an heir, little Julia Drusilla. His sister had complained that the name was bad luck, but he had dismissed her, knowing full well that most of her objections had to do with who the baby’s mother was. He also assumed Caesonia’s pregnancy was the reason Drusilla had taken ill during the last few days; it was very likely that she wasn’t about to let Caesonia hold the country’s, and Caligula’s, attention for too long a period of time. Unless she was with child as well. _It’s possible_ Caligula thought to himself with a smirk, thinking of how much fun such a state of affairs would be.

He got up and put his clothes on before bracing himself to be accosted by his so-called advisors. Only one was outside his door, however. Caligula was confused, and a little nervous as to what it might mean.

“My lord…about the lady Drusilla…she’s not well. She asked to see you.” The boy stammered.

“Where is she?” he asked, in a dreamlike state of calm, his racing heart dulling his higher functions.

“In her chamber, my lord.” the messenger replied, glad that the emperor wasn’t taking the news too badly.

Caligula nodded and strode to his sister’s room. He knew what to expect. She was him, and he was her. It would be impossible for him _not_ to know. It wasn’t until he saw her that he felt it. He tilted her chin upwards so that he could look at her

“Drusilla. Drusilla, can you hear me? Drusilla, it’s Gaius.” She gave no sign of recognition beyond a small flutter of her eyelashes, and her head lolled to the side. Caligula felt himself lose control and began weeping.

“Drusilla, please. You’re everything--” He looked down at the stillness of her body, and realized that she had stopped breathing. He held her cold body and did not let anyone come near it. She was his sister and she was dead. Nothing else mattered.

 

 

The End

 

 

 


End file.
